JOKE's Page

Ah Beng from Singapore

• Ah Beng to a long-distance telephone operator: "COULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN TAIPEI & LAS VEGAS?"
  Operator: "JUST A MINUTE..."
  Ah Beng: "THANK YOU," AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.

At a bar in New York, the man to Ah Beng's left tells the bartender "JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE."
And his companion says : "JACK DANIELS, SINGLE."
The bartender approaches Ah Beng and asks, "AND YOU, SIR?"
Ah Beng replies: "Tan Ah Beng, MARRIED."

• After completing a jigsaw puzzle he'd been working on for quite some time, Ah Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend. "It took me only 5 months to do it", Ah Beng brags. "5 months ? That's too long". the friend exclaims. "You are a fool", Ah Beng replies "see this box, it is written for 4-7 years".

Ah Beng took part in the Singapore Manhunt Competition.
During the Q&A segment, the host asks : "Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'
The crowd shouts : "Gin! Gin!"
Others exclaim : "No, its Grape Juice!"
Another smart aleck yells : "Alamak, Gatorade!"
Host : "Quiet please."
Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, you think I need their help? I got more oliginal answer : Guni !" (milk in hokkien)

• Ah Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it when he encountered some problems. He decide to use the 'Help' command after some tries. Soon after, he become very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
  Ah Beng : "I pressed the 'F1' key for help but it's been over half an hour & still nobody has come to help me. ????

In an English class:
Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"
Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother"
Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"
Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents means cowboy's father and mother. Also can say Cowboy's father is Cow Pay & Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)"
Teacher fainted.

• Ah Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring lor- but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So kena lor!" "Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.. what happened to the other ear?" "That stoopid dumbo called back!"

Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 was not allowed.

N.B. - All the above jokes were emailed to me by my friends.